Current List of Coaching Tips

Total Number of Tips: 107

Note that the numbers are for identification only (and do not go in any particular order).

TIPS:

Benefits of Coaching.
- 11. Coaching highlights what people can readily achieve, given the right support. (Katie Root)
- 12. Good programs can simplify what might appear to be particularly difficult situations. (Katie Root)
- 13. Successful programs can lead to improved individual and team performance and increased levels of motivation. (Katie Root)
Building Relationships
- 14. Communicate high expectations for your coachees and faith in their abilities to perform highly. Something that I've picked up on from sports coaches of mine was that they held higher expectations for me than I had for myself. Most importantly, they showed faith in my ability to rise above my perception of myself. (Kurt Squire)
- 15. Practice building relationship skills particularly listening. (Jill Andrews)
- 16. Set up regular one-to-one meetings to develop a relationship and give the employee an opportunity to share with you. (Jill Andrews)
- 71. Do not compare the performance of the person you are coaching to the performance of someone else. Treat each individual as a unique situation and adjust your training style accordingly. (CalGal)
- 94. Never start coaching until you have a relationship working with your client and never stop working on the relationship until you stop coaching. 80
- 103. When coaching others, relate your real experiences and stories; when doing so, use "I" and not the generic "you" to talk about yourself. This will convey clear accountability, and make the connection and coaching more authentic. (Alain)
- 107. Raise your coachee's status. If your coachee reports to you, know that they are likely to say things that you want to hear, more than they would to a co-worker, spouse, or friend. So do whatever you can to make the coachee feel comfortable. Either lower your status, or raise theirs. An example of raising someone's status might be "Your contributions really made a difference to me and the organization this quarter. Here's why: ..." but remember to keep it authentic. (Alain)
Coaching Conversations
- 6. Never sit across the table from the person you are coaching because this suggests an adversarial relationship. Sit side by side or at right angles to each other. (ST)
- 7. Most coaching conversations are framed as attempts at solving problems or overcoming the coachee's weakness. Try the opposite approach of profiting from opportunities and building upon the coachee's strengths. (ST)
- 8. Once you have a topic, a problem, or an opportunity, ask the coachee for ideas. Listen actively and attentively. When the coachee says that he or she has run out of ideas, ask for some more. Offer you ideas only after the coachee has completed his or her list. Even then, offer your ideas tentatively as things to be improved. (ST)
- 9. Don't over-plan and over-rehearse your coaching session if you want to avoid appearing to be rigid and obsessive. Have a general idea of your goal and invite the coachee to suggest the specific process. (ST)
- 10. At the end of a coaching session, ask the coachee for feedback about your coaching performance. Model appropriate behaviors for receiving feedback. And change your behavior during your next coaching conversation. (ST)
- 17. Resist the temptation to ask, "Why?" Asking why generally takes you close to doing therapy and many coachees react to "Why?" as a blaming or fault-finding question. Instead of "Why didn't you finish this project on time?" try "What got in your way and how can you deal with it next time?" (Ken Coleman)
- 18. During coaching sessions, you are advised to make suggestions or ask questions instead of telling the coachee what to do. Sometimes this is not a good idea. Your coachee may get confused and wonder, "Now what exactly did my coach want me to do?" Don't feel guilty about providing unambiguous, no-nonsense instructions--when it is appropriate. (ST)
- 19. Sometimes it is easier to coach two people instead of one. Whenever you are coaching some interpersonal skill, consider the possibility of coaching two people at the same time. This reduces the intensity of the session and permits you to have the two coachees role-play with each other. (ST)
- 20. In every group coaching situation, acknowledge and show appreciation for each person's contribution, no matter how small. Each person deserves to be acknowledged, and rewarding small efforts can inspire them to bigger efforts the next time. (Kaye Vivian)
- 21. Avoid giving advice. Advice usually brings out the 'yes, but...' response. Instead, try to provide information which the person can use to chart their next course of action. (Jane Koroniak)
- 22. Headline, Specific, Benefit: To improve understanding, retention, and buy in, when offering performance feedback or ideas, a useful structure includes a Headline (What's the general skill principle on which you are focusing, "I liked your use of open-ended questions"); Specific Example (quotes, tonals, or body language, "For example, when you said 'What are your objectives, and what are your challenges."); Benefit to the Performer (What's in it for them, "That got you a lot of useful information.") (AKimball)
- 23. Positive Ideas trump Negative Feedback: Instead of telling a salesperson that they shouldn't have asked so many manipulative questions on that sales call (Negative Feedback), it is more useful to suggest that they ask more open-ended, double-clicking questions such as, "Tell me more?", "Can you get more specific?", or "What are some of your most most critical objectives." (AKimball)
- 24. The most important tip is to never demotivate the trainee. We often tend to do so by unconscious body language. (Bhatia Samir)
- 67. Have the person/people you are coaching brainstorm by listing everything that comes to mind about the subject, good, bad, obvious or obscure. Do not discuss each item just write them down until you can't come up with any more ideas. After the list is created you can discuss the pros and cons of each idea. (CalGal)
- 68. Use pictures "screen prints" in training procedures. This helps a great deal because the individual will remember the picture before they will remember the words. Once they visually recognize where they are, the process steps seem to make more sense. (CalGal)
- 69. When working on a training situation, demonstrate the process, then have the trainee perform the technique several times in a side by side setting. Next have them begin on their own with no direction and be in the immediate area available for questions. If they get stuck on something, guide them through troubleshooting but allow them to "fix" the problem. (CalGal)
- 70. Avoid negatives that discourage and exclude, such as "I don't think..." and "You shouldn't...," when speaking. Negatives put people on the defensive. Instead you want to encourage and include with phrases that start with "What if we tried to..." or "Maybe you could..." or "another option might be..." etc. (CalGal)
- 89. Debriefing is the process used by facilitators to encourage participants to reflect on an experiential activity and share their insights. You can adapt this technique for use in one-on-one coaching situations, especially after some positive or negative experience (such as completing a proposal within a tight deadline or losing a contract at the last moment). Invite the coachee to think back on the experience and discuss lessons learned. Also discuss implications of the experience for future behavior. (ST)
- 95. Keep it simple and keep it brief - ALWAYS. 80
- 101. Don't coach when you are upset. You will end up taking out your frustrations on the coachee. Wait until you are calm and centered. Also don't coach when the coachee is upset. Give the person time to recover. (Gabrielle)
- 102. Instead of coaching someone to perform a procedure, prepare a suitable job aid. Then coach the person how to used the job aid. (Gabrielle)
- 104. Practice "generous listening". What I mean by that is listen for the honorable intent behind the coachee's words. So if someone has strong passion which is displayed through frustration, recognize the passion and the good intention the coachee has behind his/her words. (Alain)
Concluding Activities
- 25. More important than being "right" or "complete", is to have the performer leave the coaching session looking forward to returning for more. (AKimball)
- 83. Create a back-up plan (Gertrude)
- 87. End your coaching session by asking the coachee to list two or three of the most important things he or she has learned. This will reinforce learning and help build the coachee's satisfaction with the learning process. (Doreen Brady)
- 98. Don't forget to follow up. After your coaching project is completed, work with the coachee to develop an action plan for her or his continuous personal and professional growth. (Gabrielle)
Dealing with Reluctance, Resistance, or Defensiveness.
- 26. When coaching an employee or team for some type of performance improvement, make failure less threatening and success more personal by taking Peter Drucker's advice (roughly paraphrased): "Don't concentrate on polishing your skills. That will take care of itself if you seek to eliminate the constraints that impede you from achieving your stated goal. Using this approach, the focus of your effort becomes external to yourself, reducing the notion of a "personal shortcoming." (Peck)
- 27. Don't assume that the coachee's statements are signs of resistance, reluctance, and defensiveness -- just because they are different from what you want him or her to say. Use these statements as genuine and valuable indicators of unfilfilled needs or unexamined causes of performance problems. (ST)
Demonstrating
- 28. Be willing to "lead from example." Be an exemplar, and model the desired behavior. Do not expect the participants to do something you can't do in front of them. Do it flawlessly. (Norm Gustafson)
- 29. If the subject matter is knowledge or information that supports performance, demonstrate how it can be learned. Also demonstrate how it can be applied to their specific situation. (Norm Gustafson)
Establishing Credibility
- 30. Admit failure. Model a key component of lifelong learning by being honest with your own performances and using them as an opportunity for learning. I saw a teacher of mine make a huge mistake in class, and rather than lose his cool, he used the experience as at teachable moment on recovering from errors, and spontaneity. (Kurt Squire)
- 88. When you do not know the answer to a question, admit it. Offer to find the answer and provide it at the next coaching session (or sooner). (Doreen Brady)
Framing the Coaching Process.
- 1. 'Coaching' is an inappropriate term because it is frequently associated with dysfunctional behaviors of autocratic sports coaches. Use some other positive term such as 'co-creation' or 'problem-solving partnership'. (ST)
- 2. Read the book, Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (ISBN 0-670-88339-5). Although this book is not directly related to coaching, the concept of mapping the contribution system (figuring out how everyone contributed to the present mess rather than attaching blame) has significant relevance to the coaching process. (ST)
- 31. Coaching is related to several other organizational processes including change management, team building, facilitation, performance management, and strategic planning. You can acquire many coaching tips from these other processes. You can also position your coaching session as a part of these other processes. (ST)
- 32. Here's one of the differences between mentoring and coaching. Mentoring focuses on the relationship while coaching focuses on a specific task. Make sure that your coaching conversations focus on some specific task to be accomplished. (ST)
- 34. Affirm the best for any situation. Make "win-win" a "self-fulfilling prophecy" (Jill Andrews)
- 35. Coaching is based in the belief that people want to and can do a good job. If, down deep, you don't believe that, coaching is probably not for you. (Ken Coleman)
- 36. Coaching is not a one-sided initiative. It is a dialogue, a give-and-take, a sharing of ideas and information. The coach does not have to be the initiator of the process or even any given conversation; the coachee can sometimes take the lead. (Kelly Taliaferro)
- 37. Coaching is not therapy or taining or consulting. Each has its appropriate time and situation. Spend some time learning which is called for in what kind of situations. (Ken Coleman)
- 38. The most useful coaching is situational. Consider the difficulty of the task being coached, the skills and experience of the person you are coaching and their preferences in terms of how much 'help' should be given. Sometimes people don't want/need 'the answer', they need a little assistance in finding out how to get the answer themselves. (Jane Koroniak)
- 39. The prerequisite for coaching is a basic trust in the coachee and confidence that he or she wants to improve. (Bhatia Samir)
- 40. When coaching a team, assess early whose input is critical for the group's success and whose is less so. Follow up throughout the project with all, but if deadlines are missed or problems arise, you'll know where to focus your greatest efforts--on the important contributors. (Kaye Vivian)
- 73. There is no single way to coach all the people in all situations. In this list and in various books on coaching you will come across inconsistent and contradictory tips. Instead of asking yourself, "Which tip is right?" or "Which tip is better?" ask yourself, "Under what situations and with what types of coachees will this tip produce useful results?" This will help you become a more flexible, versatile, and adaptive coach. (ST)
- 77. Be sure that everyone in a group you are coaching has an assigned task, with a deadline and a deliverable. Provide a structure for the overall project, but then stand back and make yourself available to answer questions or be a cheerleader, as needed. (Kaye Vivian)
- 78. The coach of a group should avoid taking on any of the tasks needed to accomplish the project. By staying outside the tactical execution, the coach can stay objective and help the other team members to achieve their goals...and the overall goal. (Kaye Vivian)
- 92. Encourage peer coaching. At the end of a training workshop, invite participants to find a partner for implementation activities. Set up a system for these peer coaches to encourage, support, motivate, assist, console, and collaborate with each other. (ST)
- 99. C.O.A.C.H. stands for these five steps: Connecting with the coachee. Observing his or her job performance. Assessing the performance to select a high-ROI area for coaching. Conversing with the coachee about performance-improvement ideas. Honing the coachee's competencies. Your job as a coach is not complete until you have completed all these steps. (Gabrielle)
- 106. Remember the line from "The Philadelphia Story" (Kathryn Hepburn says it): "The best time to make up your mind about people is NEVER." (Alain)
Giving Feedback
- 4. Demonstrating how to perform a procedure improves your skill level--but does nothing to improve the coachee's skill level. So spend more time requiring the coachee to demonstrate his or her skills and provide appropriate feedback. (ST)
- 5. The coachee is likely to be her or his worst critic. So begin your feedback session by asking, 'What did you do that makes you feel positive and proud?' (ST)
- 41. Instead of singling out one individual in a group who needs improvement, find another person in the group that individual works well with, and enlist the aid of the other person to deliver the comments or encouragement needed. Many people find criticism easier to take if it's not from the teacher. (Kaye Vivian)
- 42. Be open to receiving feedback on your coaching. The best coaches learn also. Model the 'best practices' of receiving feedback (it might just be a test). (Jane Koroniak)
- 43. Describe why the skill/behaviour (etc.) is important. Outline the steps/expectations/objectives/outcomes involved Demonstrate or model what is required. Catch the coachee doing something right. Measure and Incent. (Elaine Allison)
- 44. If a client is resisting a request have him/her look at the value they are receiving from resisting by asking, "By not doing what you said you were going to do tells me that you're receiving some value in resisting, what might that be?" or "I'm sensing some resistance here, what would you rather be doing?" (Lou Russell)
- 45. If you observe the coachee doing something in an ineffective manner, tell them so, ask them to analyze the situation, and then to report back to you, including a description of the ineffective behavior and what they might try differently in the future. (Rebecca Lopez)
- 46. Provide encouragement and support each step along the way, giving feedback when appropriate to help build upon each success, no matter how small. (Katie Root)
- 47. Whenever a coachee claims that his or her failure was due to bad luck, gently explore alternatives. Through appropriate questions, convince the coachee that the failure was due to lack of effort or the choice of an ineffective strategy. (ST)
- 48. Whenever a coachee claims that his or her success was due to luck, refuse to accept it. Through appropriate questions, convince the coachee that the success was due to effort, ability, or the choice of an effective strategy. (ST)
- 64. In order to make progress, a coachee must be able to identify incorrect or poor performance. After a task or activity, ask the coachee to evaluate his or her own performance. This will help you determine if the coachee recognizes areas that need improvement. (Doreen Brady)
- 65. Use the coachee's self-evaluation to begin the process of setting goals for the coaching process. (Doreen Brady)
- 66. If a coachee self-evaluation does not identify areas that have improved or that are strengths on which to build, be sure to discuss them and offer praise. (Doreen Brady)
- 76. On giving feedback: Use the 1-1-1 method. (Not sure whose this is.. but I got it from another trainer) Give them one "I like", one "I wish" in one minute. For instance: I like how you answered the phone so quickly. I wish that you would have used a little friendlier tone of voice. (Susan Williams)
- 79. Praise, praise, praise! Even if the person being coached bombs completely, find something positive to say that will give them an anchor to hold on to. No one likes to fail. Help people to fail with their dignity intact and they will take away a positive learning experience. (Kaye Vivian)
- 80. Sometimes a big warm smile, with eye contact, and telling the other person, "I know you are going to come up with a great solution!" is all the motivation and help they need in order to shine. (Kaye Vivian)
- 90. Ask for help. Request coaching help and feedback from your friends and co-workers. But impose suitable constraints. For example, my writer friend says, "Here's my rough draft of an article. I don't want you to proof-read it. But can you read it and tell me if you thinks this could be an article you'd enjoy reading in Parade Magazine? I just want a simple answer without any details." (ST)
Goal Setting
- 49. Get a solid commitment from the coachee to reach her/his goal, I invite her /him to send a short note to her/his colleagues and superiors telling them that she/he wants to improve (specify what) and asking for their feedback and their support. (Froggie)
- 50. Set goals at 1/3 to 1/2 of what person says they can do over a period of time - increases chances of success. (E-QUAL)
Identifying and Analyzing Areas for Coaching.
- 51. Assess the abilities of the employee and act accordingly. Be careful not to "overtrain" or "overcoach" a seasoned person. (Jill Andrews)
- 52. At the end of a project provide each teammember with three things "to keep doing" and "three things to work on". Provide information in writing to recipient of feedback and then meet with each other one on one to debrief and provide the feedback. (Lynn Smith)
- 53. Coach Only on First Hand Data: One of the best ways to lose credibility is to coach someone on a performance or behaviours that have been reported to you by a third party. Suggest to the third party that they coach the performer on their observations. (AKimball)
- 54. Identify Coachee's Needs: Getting a coachee to "buy" an performance improvement idea is like getting a potential customer to buy a product or service. The more you know about their vision, objectives, challenges, and skill development wishes, the more compellingingly you can offer your performance improvement ideas. (AKimball)
- 74. Give them homework. Ask them to write down their victories or the things that they have done well every day for a week. Tell them that they have to write at least 10 things daily that they did well. The next time you meet with them have them pull out their week's accomplishments. Have them pick the most meaningful 3 out of the 70. Ask them to tell you about those three, and why they were so meaningful. This exercise will help them in their own development of key skills and teach them to focus on their most important daily activities. It also allows them to see there accomplishments and successes. Many people are severely challenged to come up with their daily successes. Yet, they can always tell you what they didn't get done. This exercise is very impactful when repeated over several weeks. (Susan Williams)
- 75. Ask the person you are coaching what they want to work on. Ask them why they want it. Ask them what steps they feel would help them. Offer your ideas for resources only after going through both of the other steps. (Susan Williams)
- 91. Ask the coachee to summarize the problem (or specify the goal) in a single, simple sentence. Keep probing the coachee until she or he is able to do this. This discussion helps the coachee clarify the situation and identify the critical factors. (ST)
- 93. Everything your client says or does is important - the coach has to work out how it is important. 80
- 96. Focus ALL your senses on analysing performance - eyes, ears, nose, guts, and brain. 80
- 100. Don't snoop. Get permission first before observing the coachee's job performance. (Gabrielle)
Individual Differences
- 55. Adapt your managerial/coaching style to the coachee. Diagnose where the employee is in the process and advise/coach accordingly. (Jill Andrews)
- 56. Be sensitive to the style differences of group members when coaching a group. Give deliberate, thoughtful people detailed tasks that require accuracy or research. Give gregarious, spontaneous people tasks that involve creativity or coming up with ideas for new methods. (Kaye Vivian)
- 82. Consider employee 'personality' style (Gertrude)
Initial Activities
- 3. Before entering into a coaching relationship, honestly examine the role you want to play. Do you want to be a nag, a bully, a friend, a critic, a mentor, a leader, a teacher, a manager, a counselor, a disciplinarian, or a role-model? Are you trying to play multiple roles? If so, why are you doing that and what should be your primary role? (ST)
- 33. This is an expansion of Tip 3. Before a coaching session, ask yourself if you want to play any of these roles: avenger, pscyhotherapist, trainer, shaman, mystic, rescuer, confidant, confederate, or playmate. Sometimes some of these roles have nothing to do with the coaching process. Don't confuse your coachee--and yourself--by pretending to coach when you are doing something else. (ST)
- 57. When coaching a team, clearly define everyone's goals and objectives for the project. Communicate roles and responsibilities to the group as a group, so everyone understands how the project will come together and who is responsible for what. (Kaye Vivian)
- 58. DEVELOP MENTORING GUIDELINES: For each set of staff competencies, develop a set of mentoring guidelines... a list of open-ended questions to support managers in leading staff through a coaching process. (Wendy Trimm)
- 59. Have a firm handshake. smile and look people in the eye. You will be surprised what it can accomplish. The first thing I do when I am meeting students or a group of parents is go up and introduce myself. The second thing is that I tell them they have my respect and do not have to "earn it". Start positive and you will be surprised what can happen. So few teachers and coaches do this you will be surprised how well it works. In the real world that we all live and learn in, handshakes and attitudes count. Coaching is teaching, teaching is coaching, it is all about learning. (Zeke Martin)
- 60. Be available when needed by the coachee and offer your time. (Elaine Allison)
- 81. Choose the youngest, least experienced, most confused, or quietest person in the group you are coaching and give them extra help and attention. Provide definitions of terms, help them to outline their task to be sure they understand what to do, volunteer suggestions about how they might achieve their goal...then give them a good pat on the back and stand aside. (Kaye Vivian)
- 84. List your goal for the coaching session (Gertrude)
- 85. Plan steps and wording (Gertrude)
- 86. Prepare for the coaching session (Gertrude)
- 97. Timing is everything when coaching - only intervene when the time is right. 80
- 105. You will tend to draw out the issues in others which are still unresolved in yourself. Remember to own your stuff, do your own internal work on the issues, and own your projections. (Alain)
Resources
- 61. Explore seminars, books and web sites for coaching/mentoring advice. There is a lot out there and you will have to try it out to see what works for you. (Katie Root)
- 62. Hone your communications skills so that you are comfortable exchanging information about the feelings as well as the problem/opportunity. A great online workshop by Dennis Rivers is available at http://www.coopcomm.org/ which you can work through on your own or with others. (Jane Koroniak)
- 63. In response to the request for coaching tips, Coach University puts out a Daily Coaching Tip that folks can subscribe to by email, free. See http://www.coachu.com/. To subscribe, send an email with the message "coachingtips-on" in the body to lists.dailycast.com. (Rifka Kane) (sent to TRDEV)
- 72. We offer courses, resources, and support for coaching and we have created advertising-free web pages that list other organizations involved in coach work as well as various coaching publications and services. You can find us at http://www.peer.ca/coach.html . (Rey A. Carr, Ph.D.) (from TRDEV)